Landie Van Haren is a student of International Coach Academy, Melbourne, Australia, a student of Humanistic and Transpersonal Psychology at Saybrook Graduate School, and an international Life and Business Coach. (landie@neweye.com). Landie says,
“My coach training is so valuable to me I would do it even if I was only going to coach myself.”
The Joy is in the Journey, by Landie Van Haren
My four year old granddaughter loves to spend time at Grandpa and Grandma’s house. She enjoys playing outside while I tend my flower garden. On one of those visits I wanted to make a quick trip to the food store before dinner. It was such a wonderful summer day I decided Jordyn and I could walk to the neighborhood market. My husband and I had done it many times; it was only about fifteen minutes away. “Slip on your shoes,” I told her. “We are going for a walk.”I could tell she was excited as she squealed, “Can I buy something, Grandma?” “Yes,” I retorted, “But put your shoes on quickly; we have to hurry so I can get supper ready before Grandpa gets home.” Off we went.I began with the quick pace my husband and I are accustomed to, but it wasn’t long before my walking partner had disappeared.Suddenly, I heard a tiny voice behind me. “Grandma, look! A puppy!” I spun around to see her glistening blue eyes fixed on a small black lab. “So cute!” she mused, an irresistible smile on her face.
Of course she’d stop to pet the puppy, I thought. She has one just like him at home. We admired the puppy for a bit and then returned him to his owner. I checked my watch, concerned about the lost time, but I assumed we could make it up. One unplanned interruption would not ruin the day. It was not long, however, before I realized that the dear child had other priorities.
A little farther down the street, Jordyn turned off in a direction I had not planned on. It was out of the way, but before I could catch her she ran off, “Look Grandma! Swings!” In one fluid motion she mounted the seat of one of those playground amenities and began pumping her legs until she was flying high. “Grandma, you try it,” she urged. “You can do it,” she reassured me. “Here, I’ll help you,” she chortled as she showed me how she did it. At first I felt foolish swinging back and forth on something that was intended for a child, but in just moments I was leaning back, my hair flying freely behind me as I looked up to the heavens, gliding with ease.
Next, she queried, “You want flowers, Grandma?” as she gathered up a bouquet of dandelions. A few steps later, we watched ants dig a tunnel, chased a butterfly, listened to birds sing and then sat down on a grassy terrace to rest. The trip had not gone as I had planned, but after we returned home, and I reflected on our afternoon adventures, I wondered why I had been in such a hurry. I began realizing how adult and rigid my schedule was as I watched my granddaughter playing in the backyard while I went over the afternoon’s events. She was so light-hearted and carefree, so unassuming and so full of life.
I checked the clock again, and realized that my husband was going to be home later than expected anyway, so the many delays in our walk had not really inconvenienced anyone.
Again I returned to our walk. I thought about the birds, the puppy, and the butterfly, and then finally the little girl. At first I was a bit apprehensive about trying her walking style since I usually wanted to get my shopping done quickly, or walk fast to burn calories, but as I joined in, I found that I really enjoyed the time we spent together. I have walked that route hundreds of time over the last 20 years and never noticed how amazing it could be. I was truly blessed to walk with someone who was in no hurry. Jordyn was not at all concerned about reaching our destination. She simply enjoyed the journey. For her the joy was truly in the journey.
During future walks, I mimicked Jordyn’s enthusiasm. I tried new routes, listened for birds, went swinging and even picked a flower for my husband’s lapel. The first time I offered it to him, he looked puzzled, (he was not used to this style of walking either; he was a destination walker like I was) but the second time, he grinned while he attached it shirt.
Until that day when I walked with a child’s senses I did not realize how many things there were to see, feel, smell, hear, and taste. My new way of walking, emulating my sweet granddaughter’s style left me refreshed, at peace, and with a new perception of life. Today as I recall the events of that walk I decided to share what I learned from my four year old granddaughter.
Don’t Think - Let Your Thoughts Flow I know that telling you not to think goes completely against what we have been taught all our lives. Thinking, we have learned is what brings us to appropriate decisions which help us avoid looking foolish. But sometimes, let your mind go free, let your thoughts wander and allow your inner speech to guide your thinking. New ideas for solving problems and answers you never thought existed will flow to you bombarding those negative thoughts that nag at us.
What is That Smell?
To find out, sniff around, smell flowers, grass, and some weeds, too. Too often we look just for physical beauty and forget to look deeper to find other kinds of beauty. Many beautiful flowers have no fragrance at all while some we prefer to call weeds have a heavenly fragrance, but are not as appealing to the eye. I never noticed the dandelion’s pleasant, fresh, crisp fragrance.
Floral and herbal scents are a natural aromatherapy that provide calming, restorative effects to our nervous systems and well-being.
Talk Out Loud
The magnificence of a small black puppy, for example, can only be appreciated fully if your exclamatory words are expressed aloud from your heart. “So cute!” Jordyn proclaimed. Jordyn spoke out loud with ease and no inhibitions to the ants, birds, and butterflies. Even if you walk alone, which I suggest you do at least occasionally, God and nature are listening so don’t be shy, verbalize your awe out loud.
Plan Your Journey as You Go
A preplanned map of your journey could keep you from enjoying the unexpected pleasure of discovering something new. As you walk, look for a new path to take. Perhaps a less traveled lane will lead to discoveries of something you never realized existed. When Jordyn turned from my usual path she discovered that little park I never knew was there.
Go Play
The swings took me back to my nostalgic youth allowing me to enjoy a childlikeness that made me feel young again.
In his book, Aging Well, George Valliant, M.D., professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School writes that instead of adding years to their lives adults can add life to their years by staying creative, trying new things and learning how to play again. My experience with Jordyn and the swings made playing feel natural and young, not too old, like I once felt it would.
Count Your Blessings
Cicero, Roman author, orator and politician wrote, “gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.” Counting blessings is a form of gratitude. I counted my most important blessing that day in Jordyn as she led me through this wonderful experience that changed my life. I was grateful for a small child who cared little for time and a lot for adventure.
Counting our blessings helps us appreciate the value of things we already have in our lives instead of occupying our time lusting for things we do not. This ability to harbor a sense of gratitude or appreciation of our blessings helps us cope when we are experiencing difficult times in our lives.
It was Robert Louis Stevenson, Scottish novelist and travel writer who said: “For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel’s sake. The great affair is to move.” Life is a journey and the joy of life is in the journey. If we count the events in our lives as destinations instead of parts of the journey we will find it more difficult to negotiate the hurdles that are a natural part of our existence. And if you are having a difficult time putting some fun in your life take a child for a walk, they come by it naturally and they are eager to share that blessing.
As a life coach, I help my clients assimilate life changing strategies into their lives as well as keep my self on track. Coaches are coach-able people who are always looking for ways to improve their lives as much as their clients’ lives. Through this process coaches become more valuable to their clients because teaching by example is a most effective means of inspiring others.
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